I’ve never been one to care about the mom wars. I know they’re out there. I saw the cover of TIME magazine with the mom nursing the 3 year old. Of course, I have an opinion. But my underlying belief is stronger than my initial thought, which is, that mom is making choices that best suit her and her family. Another mom may have opted out of that opportunity. She thought it was worth it to do the cover.
We all have our own rhythms and that makes us who we are. Sometimes we try too hard to pick up someone else’s rhythm and it starts to feel or even look a little funky. We each were made distinctly by a creative God who did not intend for all people – or all moms – to be the same. Thank goodness.
The other war I don’t read about (but I see the headlines on Facebook, of course) is the stay-at-home vs. working mom war. If it’s really even a war. Aren’t most moms just trying to survive? I have decided to declare myself a stay-at-home-working-mom. I work from home part-time and have a full-time role raising three kids. And it’s my bliss. It’s exactly the formula that works best for me and my family. My husband fully supports it and I’ve yet to miss anything that I didn’t want to miss. These are good days for us, but it’s just the way we want it. Not necessarily appealing to all. And that’s totally cool.
Because it’s cool for us.
I think the wars need to go. Having worked outside the home with small children, inside the home with small children, outside the home with no children, and inside the home with only one child, I know one thing for sure. No matter where I am or what I’m doing or whose eyes are physically on my child, I am still the mom.
Anyways, back to the ham.
In my heart, I am a writer. There is nothing else I want to do. I want to write meaningful words that, if so destined to be, might change a head or heart when read. I once was an editor for Neimans and loved it. I was amidst experts of fashion, design and creativity. I distinctly remember editing a layout (I do love me some editing) and thinking that being part of the chain to sell beautiful clothes was not where my heart and soul wanted to be. I resigned and became an event planner for fundraising at Dallas Seminary and fell in love with my coworkers. But at the end of any event, with hundreds to thousands of people all happy, full of cake balls, and going home from gorgeous venues and romantic settings in the backyards of the elite, I often felt that was not where my heart and soul wanted to be forever.
I can tell you now, three and a half years in, that my heart and soul are where they want to be. As the mom to the most beautiful children. As the wife to the most gracious man. It’s pretty much that simple for me.
And next to that, my heart and soul feel at home when I have written something that I think is good. Whether it’s something like this, or telling someone else’s story, or effective communication for a client, I feel satisfied. Writing is what I love to do and want to do. And I thank God that I can have my little chicks nearby while I get to write.
At the end of the day, though, I do have this one little dream. It’s small. Silly, really. But it’s always the same. I dream that my husband and I get whisked off to Cabo while our babies are carefully tended to by someone we really love. Then over breakfast, after our third refill of coffee and second hour of looking out over the crystal blue water, I look to my right and see a familiar face. I lose my stomach a little from nerves. I look at Chris; he looks at me. Gives me the nod. And I calmly wipe my palms off on my skirt and boldly walk to the table next to me and ask this familiar face if I can… be her intern. If I can be her coffee girl. If I can just sit beside her and take notes while she rattles off wit and wisdom into every line. Not frightened by her response, I stand awaiting her answer. And while she thinks, I dig down deep and from the depths of my lungs sing “SOMEBODY BRING ME SOME HAMMMMMMMMMMMM!”
She tells me to go away.
Chris and I laugh at one another and go sail off into the morning sun.
These are my dreams, people. But until that day comes. Until we’re in Mexico downing coffee. Until Tina Fey asks me to work for her and glean from her wit and wisdom, I will stay the course. Writing, working, cooking, cleaning, changing diapers, reading books to babies, folding clothes, sweeping, dressing, and start it all over the next day. I’ll keep going.
We were all created on purpose. Our unique gifts and desires are something not to be ignored. If given the opportunity, it might be your time to take a chance. Ask for the Lord’s favor and give it a shot. Remember that you were uniquely designed and serve the best when you give the people your own gifts and your own talents.
You wouldn’t want to read my fashion blog if I wrote one. Unless it was about how to wear the same outfit over and over or how to borrow clothes from your friends.
Put an end to the wars. Maybe even the war within. Be the person you’re supposed to be. The mom you want to be. The friend you want to be. Give yourself the freedom to stop waiting and watching other people do it. You go ahead and do it for yourself and for the Lord. You may find what your heart and soul have been looking for the whole time.
Now, can somebody bring me some hammmmm!