Character Building · Christian Thoughts · heart talk · Mommy Talk · Parenting

Can’t, Won’t, Don’t Stop This Train

You should probably get that checked out. I heard my friend say this summer. Her husband inspected it with a flashlight and affirmed an urgent visit to the doctor was probably a good idea. I was caught somewhere between laughter and fear as my friends who were no longer just my friends but medical experts who had a certain amount of concern in their eye.

This summer I traveled eight hours with all three of my kids to visit one of my best friends in south Florida. A blissful afternoon of floating in the pool alone without children lead to her discovery of this mole. IMG_0755Turns out there shouldn’t be moles on the bottom of your foot and since I couldn’t remember ever seeing it before, I spent the next morning having FOUR concerning moles removed.

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This likely won’t surprise you if you read this recent blog post, but I cried through the whole appointment. Thoughts of my friends’ concerns, coupled with another precious doctor friend’s response to the texted picture of my mole saying don’t wait. go get it checked. Then to have the dermatologist concerned enough to removed THREE more, I cried like a baby. By the grace of God, I have had no medical conditions up to this point in my life. So, I was convinced this was it. My three kids without a mother. My husband without a wife.

We’ll call you in a week with the biopsy results.

UGH.

Other good things prevailed though, in the waiting. My friend’s husband is a dentist and checked out my grill and confirmed I had NO CAVITIES. (Though, I probably did but he just didn’t tell me with all the mole worry. You can tell me, Philly!)

Cape Dental Care has  a BIRD SANCTUARY!! at your feet as you get your teeth cleaned.
Cape Dental Care has a BIRD SANCTUARY to watch as you get your teeth cleaned!

The kids and I then drove an extra three hours to see this miracle baby. That was good news in the waiting. Seeing our dear friends’ baby WALK when they were told that she WOULDN’T. Was grace to see. Apparently she and Preston felt like celebrating with a smooch!

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Also a short visit with my 96 year old Grandma who continues to live with great strength and faith. And I was inspired by my aunt who takes her to appointments and cares for her.

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With an eight hour drive home, I had a chance to think. Like, what if this is it. What if the mole biopsies reveal cancer. I wouldn’t be the first mom to leave earth way too early. I wouldn’t be the first person who has had to suffer. But, really. What if this is it? What if I was about to know what the beginning of the end felt like?

Good golly, the strangest thought came over me.

That’s ok.

Ummmm, that’s ok? That’s not my usual response to fear.

My thinking was put on hold as we took the next exit. Another gracious act in the waiting was swinging through Tallahassee to see dear friends and receive an adjustment at Verity. Amazing!

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In a few short days I will turn 34. The number doesn’t bother me as much as how unbelievably fast it went by. If I can sum up the past 34 years of my life in what seems like a single blink of an eye, then 68 is right around the corner. And if the Lord is kind, 102 will be a brief stop away.

As I thought and thought about the results, I came to the conclusion, that regardless of the results this is the beginning of the end.

Life is short. To be clear, this is not a depressing, sad thought! It’s freedom. Freedom to live daily with purpose and focus.

Someone once said, the days are long but the years are short. I find this VERY true with three small kids. And though there are limitless places in our home for the kids to be and play, INCLUDING WITH THEIR AMAZING DAD. HE HAS A LAP TOO AND KNOWS HOW TO FILL SIPPY CUPS TOO, I am reveling in the fact that for now, this is where they want to be.

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Life is beautiful. Though much is in disarray right now, we don’t have to fear. We can embrace what we know to be true. God is in control. And he controls with righteousness, justice, authority, and perfect peace.

If you feel a turning in your stomach that you don’t know Jesus, but may want to, I can testify that His grace is peace. I’ve seen it.

So, no matter what the results of the biopsies, I decided that life was good. God’s plan was greater than my own. And I can’t waste my days.

Besides, any number of days with these people is good.

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I pray for all those who have lives to be lived today. That you would live them with purpose and gratitude. That we would all spend less time on Facebook (trust me, i’m guilty of this), less time leaving wretched comments on blog posts (have you ever taken the time to read them, first we shouldn’t even take the time to read them, but secondly it’s just sad.) Use your voice for good. Encourage, don’t deflate. Don’t wait to get started on something you want to do. Be gracious and compassionate. Patient and kind. Fight for things that matter. Don’t be rude. This is one of my very favorite examples of using your life and circumstances to encourage others. 

I pray for all the little babies dear to me who are resting and growing in their mama’s wombs, that they would breathe in the beautiful air of life in these days to come. I pray peace for the families who ache. Those families are the strongest ones.

Well, back to the moles.

I didn’t have to wait a week. The kind doctor knew I was overly concerned and called me as soon as she knew the results.

All were normal.

Hallelujah.

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His mercies are new every morning.

So, here’s to the next 34 years of my life.

Devoted to meeting Tina Fey and having lunch with her and talking her into hiring me to write something with her.

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And skin checks every six months.

Cheers! XOXO

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3 thoughts on “Can’t, Won’t, Don’t Stop This Train

  1. Karen, I could not be more proud of you. Anytime I read any word you write I’m left with tears of inspiration and a newfound activation on life. I love you so much!!!

  2. You had me worried! So glad everything is “normal” (whatever THAT means)! Guess I should make an appt with the dermatologist…

  3. Once again the Lord has used your writing to bless me! Love you dear friend! So glad that the report was “normal” ! Each day is a gift, may we focus on what He would have us do.😘

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