Christmas · Mommy Talk

12 Ways Mom Can Get Some Alone Time This Christmas

Since only you know your personality and desperation levels, we’ve designated each way by level of difficulty, effort or ruthlessness. Go get your alone time, mamas!

1. Stand in the chimney (eating cookies), and tell everyone “you’re just tidying up for ‘ole Santa!” (Easy)

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2. Every few hours go into the attic one more time to “see if you forgot anything”. (Easier)

3. Insist that this year it would be best if you went caroling alone. (Requires Boldness)

4. Say loudly, “Well I guess somebody around here needs to make some Christmas cookies.” Mix up batter. Increase baking time and temperature by 25%. Burn cookies. Cry out, “Oh no! The Christmas cookies are burned! I guess I need to make some more.” Repeat ad infinitum. (Super Advanced)

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5.  When hubby humbly starts heading to the front door with the snow shovel, shout “I’m on to you, mister!” Retrieve the shovel from his hand, gently nudge him towards the playroom, and step outside into that blustery, sweat-inducing sweet freedom. (For the East Coasters)

5b. When hubby starts heading to the front door with the snow shovel AND IT’S 80 DEGREES OUTSIDE, shout “I’m on to you, mister!” But silently give him props for trying. (Southern Alternative)

6. Put up the lights. A task you likely give to your husband – turns out he’s just getting hours of alone time. (Requires Most Effort)

7. Use a sewing needle to poke tiny holes in the Santa Claus inflatables out front. Then assign yourself the task of figuring out why none of the inflatables are staying inflated. (Ruthless)

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8. Pop in the old A Christmas Story DVD, and tearfully excuse yourself moments later citing painful childhood memories of a frozen flagpole incident. (Requires Method Acting)

9. Three words – Hide and Seek. Top tips: Choose a storage closet that the kids are a little afraid of. Stuff your pockets with peppermint Oreos before slipping into said closet. (Old School)

10.  Just leave. Let’s be honest, with everybody’s eyesight compromised by flickering Christmas tree lights and the kids buzzing around on sugar highs from four parties at school, will anybody really notice if you just slip to the coffee shop for an hour? (A courtesy apology when you return should be sufficient)

11. Make a big deal about getting cruise tickets to the Bahamas for Christmas!!! THEN tell everyone, they’re just for you. (Most Hardcore)

And finally, voted (by a panel of two) Most Effective way mom can find some alone time this Christmas:

12. Sit quietly on top of the fridge all day and insist that you are the Elf on the Shelf.

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There you have it, folks! Let us know which one you chose – or how you creatively found some alone time. xo

Written by Shari Shallard and Karen Katulka

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